The process of watching your children grow up and mature is an enjoyable process at times, but also a stressful process that requires faith and patience. When your children are young, they require a lot of your physical energy as you try to keep them safe and they want you to be active 24 hours of the day. When they grow older, they start to require more of your emotional energy as you try to guide them during seasons when it feels like they might not be listening or they might be pulling away from you. And as they emerge into adults, you need a lot of prayer and faith that what you've taught and modeled for them will be put into practice when they're on their own.
I oversee the finances for our household and take careful note of where our household income is being given, invested, and spent. I often joke with my wife about how inexpensively we could live if the kids didn't need food, shelter, utilities, clothing, entertainment, and medical care. Before we had kids, our money was primarily spent on ourselves. Since we've had children, the majority of our income has been spent on them. And all kidding aside, we're actually happy to do that. Don't tell them, but we're pretty fond of them.
Recently, I was reminded of the practical side of having a house full of children. A few months ago, we were hit with a decent snow storm. The snow was deep and heavy, and would need to be cleaned up quickly before it turned to ice. I was the first one out of our house to begin the process of shoveling, but within a few minutes, every member of our family joined me. And as my wife and I looked at that army of children with shovels in their hands, we said, "I guess it was all worth it. Look at how useful they've become!"
The portion of Scripture we're looking at today reminds us of the concept of being useful. I suspect that as people who trust in the Lord, we desire to be useful to Him. We want to partner with Him in His redemptive work in this world. We want to live in obedience to His calling on our lives. We want to glorify Him because that's the purpose for which we were created.
So how can we be useful Christians? What actions can we take that can help demonstrate the genuine nature of our faith in Jesus Christ? Some of those actions, and the attitude that undergirds them, are mentioned for us in Philemon 11-14.
I. Live up to the name you've been given
““(Formerly he was useless to you, but now he is indeed useful to you and to me.)” ”
As Paul writes this brief letter to Philemon, he continues making an appeal on behalf of Onesimus, Philemon's escaped slave who has come to faith in Christ and was presently serving alongside Paul. Onesimus was going to be traveling back to Colossae where he would be delivering this letter to Philemon personally, and watching to see how Philemon would react.
I don't know what kind of responsibilities Onesimus took care of when he was working for Philemon years earlier, but I'm sure Philemon was happy for his help. The more work Onesimus oversaw, the less Philemon would have to concern himself with. But to lose Onesimus' help was certainly a problem in some way for Philemon. I'm sure when Onesimus escaped, Philemon thought of him as useless at that point, which makes the words Paul chooses to use in this passage rather interesting.
The name Onesimus actually means "useful," so Paul incorporated that meaning into this passage. Paul mentioned that as an escaped slave, Onesimus may have seemed useless, but now he was demonstrating just how useful he really was. As a new believer in Christ, Onesimus had chosen to be useful to Paul's ministry and could likewise be useful to Philemon when he returned to Colossae where he could partner together in the ministry of the local church. In doing so, Onesimus would finally be living up to his name.
Because of the name I was given at birth, I have always been in an interesting predicament. I have the same name as my great-grandfather, grandfather, and father. Growing up, I felt a strong desire to live up to that name, knowing that whatever I did would certainly reflect on them as well. Then I gave that name to my oldest son and have often encouraged him to do good things with it, knowing that whatever choices he makes would inevitably impact the rest of us.
Have you ever considered the spiritual implications of the name you've been given? I'm not primarily asking about the name you were given at birth, but I am referring to the name you were given when you were born again. When you trusted in Jesus Christ, you were made a bearer of His name and His ambassador on this earth. Since that day, everything you've said and done has reflected on Him to one degree or another. Are we representing Him well? Are we living up to the good name we've been given?
But the Lord said to him, “Go, for he is a chosen instrument of mine to carry my name before the Gentiles and kings and the children of Israel. 16 For I will show him how much he must suffer for the sake of my name.” (Acts 9:15-16)
"Yet if anyone suffers as a Christian, let him not be ashamed, but let him glorify God in that name." (1 Peter 4:16)
As Christians, we are the followers of Christ who bear His name. By His grace, let's live up to the good name He has granted us.
II. Sacrifice what you have for the good of someone else
““I am sending him back to you, sending my very heart. I would have been glad to keep him with me, in order that he might serve me on your behalf during my imprisonment for the gospel,” ”
Imagine how difficult it must have been for Paul to send Onesimus back to Philemon. Paul was a spiritual father to this man. He had led him to Christ, discipled him, and was now serving in ministry with him. And as Paul was under house arrest, and most certainly feeling lonely at times, Onesimus was right there with him, assisting him and offering his friendship.
But if Paul sent him back, that would certainly impact the quality of his own day-to-day life. Yet I get the impression that he felt it was the right thing to do in many ways. While I think all of us can sympathize with Onesimus' decision to run away from slavery, he had broken a Roman law that was punishable by death. He was also living his life in a manner that probably felt a little duplicitous because his illegal action was still hanging over his head. Returning to Philemon would give Onesimus the chance to address this one and for all, and it would also offer Philemon an opportunity to forgive and demonstrate mercy.
So for the greater good of Onesimus and Philemon, two men Paul had led to Jesus, Paul encouraged Onesimus to return. It was to Paul's benefit that he remain, but it was to the benefit of both of these men if he returned, so Paul willingly sacrificed what was to his benefit for them.
Isn't that mindset at the heart of the gospel? When we look at what Jesus did for us, we see the perfection of sacrificial love demonstrated in His actions. Jesus laid down His very life for us. We didn't deserve it, but He did so for our benefit and He gives us the opportunity to follow His example by showing sacrificial love to others, in His name.
"By this we know love, that he laid down his life for us, and we ought to lay down our lives for the brothers." (1 John 3:16)
Years ago, this concept was put to the test for my wife and me in a small way that ended up being meaningful to someone else. We were at a luncheon for pastors and their wives, most of which were retired, and some were pretty advanced in age. As people were leaving, one of the pastors came back into the building and told me that one of the older pastors had just backed his car into the side of our van and left a large dent.
I walked outside to see what was going on, and I realized how flustered and upset that other man was. I think he was also concerned that if he had to turn in an insurance claim it might severely hinder his ability to afford his insurance. So I told him not to worry about it. No claim was necessary and he didn't need to pay us for the damage. He was extremely relieved, and thankfully, I was able to repair the van without too much expense.
And all these years later, I can tell you that I feel much better about the decision I made that day than I would have if we didn't demonstrate a little sacrificial love. That van is most likely in a junk yard now, but our relationship with that pastor remained rather strong, and when he passed away, his daughter asked me to speak at his funeral.
III. Give someone else time to do the right thing
““but I preferred to do nothing without your consent in order that your goodness might not be by compulsion but of your own accord.””
Paul made it abundantly clear that he would have preferred to keep Onesimus with him, but he didn't want to do that without Philemon's full knowledge and blessing. So Onesimus was being sent back, but this also makes me wonder what Philemon's initial response to seeing Onesimus would be. Would he get angry? Would he demand restitution? What would he do?
As Paul mentioned earlier in the letter, over the years, Philemon had become a strong Christian. He hosted the local church in his home, and was actively seeking to refresh the faith of believers in multiple ways. It wouldn't surprise me to learn that Philemon was also generous with his wealth and was probably faithful in meeting the needs of others in his community.
So how would you expect a man like that to respond when given the opportunity to do the right thing? Did Paul need to order him to do it, or do you think he could trust that Philemon would listen to the direction of the Holy Spirit as He spoke to his heart about this matter? As a recipient of the grace of God, would Philemon be gracious? As a beneficiary of the mercy of Jesus, would Philemon demonstrate mercy? As one who had benefitted from the patience of God, would he demonstrate patience and understanding toward Onesimus? I believe he would, and did.
"The Lord is not slow to fulfill his promise as some count slowness, but is patient toward you, not wishing that any should perish, but that all should reach repentance." (2 Peter 3:9)
Aren't you grateful for the patience the Lord has demonstrated toward you throughout the course of your life? I'm thankful that He has given us the time we needed to respond to His offer of salvation. I'm thankful that He remains patient with us as we grow in faith, because it frequently takes us time to do the right thing, especially if our faith is being stretched in a new way or we're experiencing a trial or test that doesn't resemble anything we're already familiar with.
I'm grateful that the Lord allows us to participate in the work He's doing in this world, and I'm thankful that He makes us useful to Him in the actions He's taking throughout human history. As we seek to live up to the name of Christ, demonstrate His sacrificial love, and remain patient with others who are in the midst of the same process of growth, I pray that we'll become even more useful to the Lord as our faith in Him matures.
© John Stange, 2022
