Later this week, my wife will be celebrating her birthday. She looks like she's many years younger than me, even though she's actually a year older. I joke about that with her frequently, and thankfully she's a good sport.
A few weeks ago, I was talking with someone about how old I was and I realized that for the past few months, I have been telling people the wrong number. I added an extra year to my age without realizing I had done that. When I was a child, I remember adults pausing to think and do math when people would ask them how old they were, and I always thought that was very strange. I couldn't imagine losing track of my age, but now that I'm a little older, I can definitely see how easily that mistake can be made.
As you grow older, what changes are you noticing about yourself? And when you answer that in your head, please don't start with a list of physical changes. That's too easy. We all experience the natural changes that occur within our bodies. The changes I'm asking about are deeper than that.
What has changed about the nature of your spiritual faith over the course of your life? What's different about the ways you relate to people? How are your goals changing? What did you once think was important, but you no longer value the same way? What would you be willing to say or do that you wouldn't have been willing to address at an earlier season of life?
When Paul wrote this letter to Philemon, he considered himself to be an older man who had been seasoned by time, trials, and other faith-stretching experiences. He possessed wisdom and insight that he didn't have when he was a younger man. The Lord had allowed him to see, experience, and learn things that took time to bear fruit in his life.
Paul wrote this portion of Scripture with the kind of wise and careful boldness that a spiritual person develops over time. He demonstrates that he had become bolder as he grew older, and he wanted to use that boldness to spread the gospel, serve the church, and inspire individual members to take bold action as well.
I. Your confidence in Christ should result in bold action
““Accordingly, though I am bold enough in Christ to command you to do what is required,””
Have you ever been in a position where you were called upon to lead or teach someone else? Many of us have found ourselves in such a position, and parents with children at home find themselves in that kind of position every day.
Children often question their parents' wisdom and instruction. When I was a child, I frequently challenged my parents' directions. After being told what to do, I would often reply, "Why do I have to do that?" And I would usually receive the one response that bothered me most, "Because I said so!"
Ironically, the older I get, the more I realize that "Because I said so," is an appropriate answer, even though it's probably best to use it sparingly. My father and my mother were the primary authorities the Lord had sovereignly placed over my life, and they had the right to tell me to do whatever they thought was in my best interest. I had no right to question their authority, even though I often made the arrogant mistake of doing so.
In the context of the early church, Paul had spiritual authority, and he could have exercised that authority when speaking to Philemon. Paul was an apostle, a founding pastor of multiple churches, and a spiritual father to many people - Philemon being one of them. Paul had also grown bold in Christ and could have commanded Philemon to do what he was going to ask him to do, but that's not how Paul chose to approach the action he was about to encourage Philemon to take on behalf of Onesimus, his former slave.
Just the same, Paul was absolutely bold in his approach. In fact, he could have resisted writing this letter and allowed the issues that existed between Philemon and Onesimus to remain unresolved. But Paul cared about these men too much to ignore what needed to be done.
When I observe Paul in this portion of Scripture, I see an impressive demonstration of Christ-empowered confidence. Paul wasn't confident in himself. He was confident in Jesus, and that confidence gave him the liberty to take bold action with a clear conscience.
With that confidence, he confronted sin, preached the gospel when governments were hostile toward it, planted churches, traveled throughout Europe and Asia primarily on foot, and said hard things to friends even though he knew he might be risking the friendship by doing so.
This Scripture and those examples beg the question, "How is your confidence in Christ contributing to bold action in your life?" Are you willing to say bold things for the cause of Christ? Are you willing to take bold actions for the glory of Christ so you won't be counted among the slothful multitudes that like the view from the bleachers so much that they never step onto the field?
II. Your wisdom in Christ will lead you to appeal to the conscience of others
““yet for love’s sake I prefer to appeal to you—I, Paul, an old man and now a prisoner also for Christ Jesus””
If you had to ask someone to do something difficult, would you prefer appealing to their conscience or making a demand? I would personally prefer appealing to the conscience of someone else. Admittedly, not everyone is at a place of maturity where appealing to their conscience will work, but when you're dealing with someone who demonstrates that their conscience can be effectively appealed to, that's often the wisest approach to take.
I even tried this approach with a telemarketer who called me a while back. I answered the phone and she began her speech about how I needed to do something and send money for something, and at that point, I asked her to pause for a second. I said, "Ma'am, do you believe in God?" She said, "Yes." Then I said, "You and I both know that you've been lying to me. In fact, you've been calling a bunch of people and lying to them today, haven't you?" She said, "Yes, I have."
At that point, the call was rather quiet for a moment and I said, "God wants us to be truthful. He wants you to tell the truth to me, and He wants me to tell the truth to you. It's time to stop lying, Ma'am." She quietly answered, "Yes... Ok... I'll stop." Then she softly said goodbye and hung up.
I'm convinced that the Holy Spirit directed that conversation. I'm convinced He led me to even answer the phone to begin with because in a context like that, I normally wouldn't have done so. When I look at Paul's words in this passage, I can see the Spirit leading the ways he chose to address the glaring issue in Philemon's life.
The wisdom of Christ taught Paul that this was a good time to appeal to Philemon's conscience. And as Paul did so, he did this in the most loving way possible. He didn't berate Philemon. He didn't attempt to embarrass him either. In fact, Paul had just spent a considerable portion of this letter expressing how appreciative he was for Philemon and how grateful he was to see how the Lord was using his life and allowing him to sacrificially serve the church. But now it was time for Paul to make a tough request, and that request would be made as an appeal to Philemon's sense of mercy and integrity.
As believers in Christ, we're called to be people of conscience. Many people in this world actively attempt to squelch their consciences, but we're called to have soft hearts, repentant spirits, and consciences that are sensitive to what is holy and what is right.
How is the Lord appealing to your conscience right now? Is there something He has been speaking to you about that it's time to address? Is there some form of bold action that you need to take without delay?
III. Your faith in Christ will feed your desire to welcome others into the faith
““I appeal to you for my child, Onesimus, whose father I became in my imprisonment.””
One of the most impactful experiences I have ever had was the opportunity to work at a Christian summer camp when I was in high school. I frequently tell people that it was in that context that I met the Lord and was discipled to take my faith in Jesus seriously. It was also in that context that I first had the privilege to pray with someone as they came to faith in Jesus.
I still remember a camper asking me to stick around after one of the chapel services had concluded. He wanted to talk with someone about his life, his faith, and the fact that he had become aware of his need for Jesus in his life. After we spoke, I led him in a time of prayer where he confessed his new faith in Jesus and entrusted his life over to Christ.
As that young man left the chapel, I heard another voice in the room. A new staff member had also remained in the building to quietly pray, but she heard everything I had shared with that camper and she saw him come to faith in Christ. I still remember her response as she said, "That was a powerful thing to witness."
I must admit, that I never grow tired of telling people about Jesus and I never grow tired of having the opportunity to pray with people as they come to faith in Him. Every time that happens, we're being given the opportunity to see the family of God grow. And when you lead someone to Christ, in a very real sense, you become their spiritual mother or father.
That's why Paul referred to Onesimus as his child in this passage. Paul mentions that he became a spiritual father to Onesimus during his imprisonment in Rome. Paul had taken the opportunity to share the gospel with this man who had run away from slavery in Philemon's household, then he learned the backstory and realized that he was the spiritual father of both the slave owner and the slave. What an amazing story this is, and what a great illustration of the sovereign and providential hand of God. On multiple levels, Philemon and Onesimus were now spiritual brothers.
As our faith in Christ matures, our desire to see more people added to the family of God grows as well. It starts to become a high priority on our list, starting with our household, extended family, friends, neighbors, and coworkers.
In time, you'll even start praying for those you don't even know. Then you'll get a little bolder and attempt to figure out ways that you can tell them yourself about what Jesus has done in your life.
There are a lot of things that I consider blessings about growing older, and a lot of things that I think are challenges as well. But one of the greatest blessings that has come into my life over time, is the holy boldness the Lord grants us when our consciences are clear, our faith is growing, and our eyes begin seeing people and circumstances through the eyes of Jesus.
Let Jesus make you bold for Him.
© John Stange, 2022
