Our culture thrives when fathers remain involved in the lives of their children. Households thrive. Neighborhoods thrive. Communities thrive. Churches thrive. But it's also very obvious that some corners of our society don't agree with that sentiment. We live in a confused era. We are several generations deep in a social experiment where a father's influence in his home is being minimized, either because he has abdicated his responsibilities or his absence is being encouraged through various financial subsidies.
Historically, in cultures and communities where fathers are actively present, there is less crime, more structure, and more accountability. But when they are absent, everyone is impacted.
This world needs the presence of fathers who are faithful to their families and their responsibilities. Their contribution to the culture and the church is significant and appreciated. In fact, if you're feeling tired and discouraged right now, I hope what I'm about to share will encourage and lift you up.
Fathers, you are the ones who realize that the perspective the next generation has regarding the nature of God will be heavily impacted by the care, guidance, protection, and love you demonstrate. You are the ones who understand the weight of your responsibilities, and we're immensely grateful that the Lord has chosen to bless this world with your presence.
I. Your protective care is something this world desperately needs
““But the Lord is faithful. He will establish you and guard you against the evil one.””
This summer, I decided to do something that completely interrupts my weekly routine. For years, I have taken Mondays off as a day to reset my system a little. My pastoral work, particularly the counseling aspect, requires me to spend time with families in the midst of some of their heaviest seasons and most painful trials. It's a privilege to walk with people in during seasons like that, but it's also emotionally weighty. So I typically use Mondays as a day to disconnect and do work that is a little less heavy.
Most Mondays for the past few decades, I have turned off my phone and worked in my yard, around my house, or in the garage. It's a good pattern for me and it helps me recharge my battery a little. This summer, however, I'm taking that to a new level. I now spend my Mondays as a ride operator at Knoebels Amusement Resort, our family's favorite amusement park.
What does that involve? It involves operating the rides, interacting with guests, and making sure children are protected from harm or injury. I spend every Monday checking height requirements, seat restraints, and maintaining order in the line queue while attempting to cultivate a culture of lighthearted fun. Essentially, I'm being paid to provide protective care to guests.
When you read through the Scriptures, it becomes very clear that God is actively providing protective care for His children. He's been doing this ever since He created us, even though there are seasons when we have rebelled against the protective care He offers.
But God knows better than we do that there are problems and pitfalls that surround us. Many of those issues are taking place in the spiritual realm. We have a spiritual enemy who actively works against God's people. He threatens us. He threatens our families. He threatens our churches as well. This was something the Apostle Paul reminded the early church about, and it's something we need to remember as well.
When Paul was explaining the reality of the spiritual threats that might come against the church in Thessalonica, he wanted them to understand both sides of what would be taking place. He made it clear that the evil one was seeking to harm them and hinder their work, but God was faithful and would guard them against these attacks.
It comforts my heart to know that God is that intentional about providing protective care for His children. In His example, fathers are being given a blueprint of how to handle the things that threaten the well-being of our families. Anticipate these things. Be on guard against them. Actively seek to prevent them from harming your children. Your protective care is something this world desperately needs.
II. Your words are being heard even if it seems like they're being ignored
““My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me. I give them eternal life, and they will never perish, and no one will snatch them out of my hand.””
Words are powerful things. In the gospel of John, Jesus spoke of those who would hear His voice. He said His sheep would hear Him, He would know them deeply, and they would follow His leading. This is something I have been able to experience, and hearing the voice of Jesus as He speaks to my heart has made a clear difference in my life.
Jesus also said that He gives eternal life to His sheep. They will never die, and no one can successfully tear His sheep away from Him because they are held securely in His hand.
What does it do to your heart when you read or hear those words of Jesus? I know for me it brings a sense of comfort and peace. I'm grateful to know that my life is held secure by the very same person who spoke creation into existence. I rejoice in the thought that He knows me personally. I'm not just a number to Him, I'm His friend. And I'm particularly grateful for the fact that there is no power in this universe that can tear me away from Him.
When Jesus speaks, I want to listen. I wish I could say that I demonstrated that same courtesy to my parents as a child, but you can correctly guess that I didn't. Yet even in the midst of my seasons of ignorance and arrogance when I tried to run from or ignore the counsel I was being given, somehow I could still hear it in my mind and in my heart. And when the day came and I finally matured, I had to admit that the counsel I was given at an earlier season was correct.
Fathers, do you ever wonder if your children are listening to you? I certainly have, but every now and then, I have also received confirmation that they are listening. I'll never forget when one of my children said to me, "I used to give you a hard time, but now as I look back on my childhood, I can see that you were right, and your advice was good. I just wasn't ready to listen to it."
““Call to me and I will answer you, and will tell you great and hidden things that you have not known.””
I'm grateful for the many ways the Lord has gone out of His way to communicate with us. I'm grateful for the way He spoke to Jeremiah and challenged him to call on Him in prayer. Jeremiah was told that when he called on the Lord, the Lord would answer him and reveal hidden things that Jeremiah was not aware of. Isn't it a blessing to know that we can come to the Lord and seek the wisdom He supplies? Isn't it also a blessing to know that one of the ways He has revealed His wisdom is through the lips and the lives of our earthly fathers?
III. You're going to need wisdom to dispense justice and mercy in correct proportion
““If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him.””
There's an interesting balancing act that a father is often trying to navigate. It's the balance between dispensing justice and dispensing mercy. We're often trying to figure out what would be best for our children when it comes to their training and growth. Would punishing or reprimanding them be most effective or should we show them mercy in the hopes that undeserved compassion would help them learn something new?
I remember debating this with my wife when one of our children was three years old. We honestly couldn't tell sometimes if he was just abnormally witty for his age or if he was being sarcastically defiant. And all through the years, I have found myself debating if a particular moment required justice, mercy, or a delicate blend of both.
Our Lord is perfectly just and perfectly merciful. Our desire is to mirror His heart and intentions in how we train our children. That's why I'm grateful we can ask Him for wisdom to know how to complete the task He has entrusted to us.
““But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, open to reason, full of mercy and good fruits, impartial and sincere.””
Every day, I feel like I'm reminded that I need the wisdom only the Lord can fully supply. If I had to navigate fatherhood without His guidance, I wouldn't know what to do.
IV. The work you're doing will be valued most when it's remembered
““The memory of the righteous is a blessing, but the name of the wicked will rot.””
In addition to our present church, I have had the privilege to serve in pastoral leadership in three other churches. One of the pastors who served one of those churches after me gave me a call one afternoon with a question. He said, "I'm feeling frustrated. I'm trying to lead well, and I'm trying to help the church become a healthy and vibrant ministry in our community, but I feel unappreciated and I'm struggling to get volunteer help. I'm also dealing with a lot of criticism and comparison. I never hear anything good about what I'm doing. I only hear about the great work of my predecessors. What should I do?"
I felt bad when I heard him say this, so I admitted something to him that seemed to cheer him up. I told him, "When I served there, I had a very similar experience. I received a healthy dose of criticism and comparison as well, but I learned something years later. I learned that the best way to be appreciated by that church was to leave. In fact, I spoke to several of our predecessors and they joked about the same exact thing. That congregation demonizes you while you're serving and deifies you once you're gone."
In a strange way, I think fathers often have a similar experience. While you're serving your children, you'll experience seasons when you're defied, ignored, rebelled against, and your decisions will be criticized. But then time will pass and your years will add up. And it may happen during your lifetime or sometime afterward, but the investment you made in the lives of your children will indeed be valued. It's often most valued when it's finished and less valued while it's in process.
So if the Lord blesses you with the privilege of being a father, thank Him for the opportunity. It will exhaust your body, but it will stretch your faith. Ironically, you will probably learn to trust in the Lord more deeply as you go through the process, and your appreciation for the investments He made in your life and the sacrifice He made on your behalf, will most certainly grow.
On this Father's Day, I'm so grateful for our Heavenly Father and for those who humbly look to His example, and rely on His power, to guide their children and lead their families. Your work is valued, and this world is a better place because the Lord placed you in it.
© John Stange, 2022
