The other day, I received a message from a friend I haven't seen or spoken to in several years. In his message, he filled me in on all the things he's been dealing with in his life and business since we last spoke. The past few years have been a particularly challenging time for him, and he's had to make many changes.
At the end of his message, he brought up the fact that he believed he owed me money from something I shared with him a while back, and he wanted to settle that debt. To be honest with you, that was the furthest thing from my mind, and as I thought about it, I wasn't under the impression that he actually owed me anything.
I appreciated, however, his willingness to bring it up. My guess is that it has been weighing on his mind for a couple of years. That means every time he heard my name or read something I posted online, a little voice in his head was probably saying, "You know, you owe John money. You should get around to paying that." I guess he finally got sick of rehashing that conversation in his mind.
There are times in all of our lives when we've probably attempted to squelch our conscience. The process of doing so begins in our childhood when we try to get away with things our parents have cautioned us against. It continues into our adulthood when we resist obeying a law, workplace rule, personal pledge, or command of God.
Some people spend their whole lives squelching their consciences. Their entire demeanor is fake. The person they present themself to be isn't anything like they really are. You can choose to live that way if you want to, but there's a price you pay for duplicity. It will cost you your self-respect, the ability to sleep at night, and your reputation. There are no secrets with God. Everything we think we're concealing will be completely revealed on the day of His choosing. None of us are exempt.
The story of David and Bathsheba is recorded in Scripture and widely known, but it includes many details that David initially thought would never be known publicly. He violated his conscience, disregarded God's commandments, and attempted to hide his duplicity, but the Lord brought everything to light in due time.
Even before examining the details of David's indiscretion with Bathsheba, I think it's helpful to acknowledge a pattern we can see throughout Scripture when it speaks of people we're often tempted to idolize. It's for our benefit that their low moments are recorded along with their achievements and acts of faith. We're shown these things so we don't mistakenly turn these men and women into objects of worship. Their lives serve as great examples to us, but they were far from perfect. Only one sinless man walked the face of this earth, and His name was Jesus. Never forget that, even when you're reading about the great works of people you admire.
The longer David was in power as king of Israel, the easier it became for him to drift from taking all aspects of his faith in the Lord seriously. David became used to many of the privileges and perks that come with high governmental positions. He lived in opulence. He ate well. He was highly respected. Many of his subjects revered him. While serving in that context, David became a little too accustomed to getting whatever he wanted, and that started to spoil him a little.
Would you want a life where you could get whatever you wanted? Do you think that would change you? Have you heard the story of Jack Whittaker? In 2002, he bought a lottery ticket and won $314 million. Jack pledged to use it to feed the poor, start and support churches, and bless his family. He got off to a good start, but the temptations that came with having more money than he knew what to do with eventually got the best of him. Within a few years, he developed addictions to gambling, alcohol, and strip clubs. His wife divorced him, his granddaughter died mysteriously (possibly from a drug overdose), his house burned to the ground, and Jack eventually died a devastated man with a damaged reputation.
David grew used to getting whatever he wanted, and one day while his army was off at war with the Ammonites, something new caught his eye. While walking around on the roof of his residence, David's eyes caught the sight of a beautiful woman bathing. His lustful heart kicked into overdrive and he had her brought to the palace.
Even though he was told she was the wife of Uriah, a soldier who was fiercely loyal to David and was listed among David's mightiest warriors (2 Sam. 23:39), David still chose to take advantage of her. Scripture says he slept with her and a child was conceived in this act.
David wanted to protect his reputation, so he attempted to disguise the fact that this child was his. In our era, many people utilize abortion to hide their pregnancies. I have a friend who recently decided to share publicly that when she was younger, she had two abortions in an attempt to escape the consequences of the lifestyle she was living. I'm grateful to be able to say that now she uses her testimony to encourage young women to find hope in Jesus instead of reverting to the world's solutions.
“So David sent word to Joab, “Send me Uriah the Hittite.” And Joab sent Uriah to David. When Uriah came to him, David asked how Joab was doing and how the people were doing and how the war was going. Then David said to Uriah, “Go down to your house and wash your feet.” And Uriah went out of the king’s house, and there followed him a present from the king. But Uriah slept at the door of the king’s house with all the servants of his lord, and did not go down to his house.”
In a vain attempt to cover his tracks, David requested that Uriah be brought back from the battle. His plan was to attempt to encourage Uriah to go home, sleep with Bathsheba, and give off the appearance that the baby she carried was his. But Uriah was a man of integrity and refused to enjoy the comforts of home while the rest of the army in which he served was at battle.
David's plan wasn't working, so he devised something more devious. Even though Scripture refers to David as a man after God's own heart (1 Sam. 13:14), he certainly wasn't acting with godliness during this brief season of his life. David's backup plan was to orchestrate Uriah's death in battle and then take Bathsheba as his own wife after Uriah was dead.
“In the morning David wrote a letter to Joab and sent it by the hand of Uriah. In the letter he wrote, “Set Uriah in the forefront of the hardest fighting, and then draw back from him, that he may be struck down, and die.” And as Joab was besieging the city, he assigned Uriah to the place where he knew there were valiant men. And the men of the city came out and fought with Joab, and some of the servants of David among the people fell. Uriah the Hittite also died. ”
David is someone I have a lot of respect for, but this episode in his life is troubling on many levels. Not only did David squelch his conscience and sleep with another man's wife, but he also had that same man deliver the letter with his own hand which would result in his death. That's dark and quite painful to contemplate.
Put yourself in Uriah's shoes for just a moment. He was a strong and valiant man of integrity who loved his wife, loved his nation, and loved his king. Uriah was someone who was fiercely loyal to protecting David's life. If anything, David should have given Uriah the world, but instead, he took everything from him. What a sad thing to see Uriah betrayed by the man he had given his life to serve.
This story really demonstrates the depths of the darkness of the human heart. Sadly, if we make a habit of remaining ignorant of the counsel of God's Word and fail to heed the prodding of the Holy Spirit on our hearts, this is the same direction our lives will go. The exact circumstances may be a little different, but the carnage and consequences will be real.
But I'm going to tell you a little secret that's worth knowing if your heart is currently weighed down with regret or you're still in the process of trying to hide what you're ashamed of. Jesus understands it all, and there's a road back to a clear conscience and spiritual vitality.
““By this we shall know that we are of the truth and reassure our heart before him; for whenever our heart condemns us, God is greater than our heart, and he knows everything.” ”
There isn't a single mistake you've made in your life that came as a surprise to Jesus. There isn't a single season of rebellion and regret that His grace isn't sufficient to restore and His mercy isn't strong enough to forgive. Even if your heart is presently condemning you for past mistakes, God is greater than your heart. The road of faith and repentance leads back to Him. Walk away from what violates your conscience and run toward Him.
When reading about Uriah's demise, I can't help but think about everything Jesus endured at the end of His earthly ministry. Uriah was betrayed by someone he loved. He had been loyal to David but didn't receive loyalty in return. Jesus experienced betrayal that also led to His physical death, yet He endured even more emotional pain than Uriah because His betrayal was known to Him. He was aware that it was happening while it was taking place.
““Then Satan entered into Judas called Iscariot, who was of the number of the twelve. He went away and conferred with the chief priests and officers how he might betray him to them. And they were glad, and agreed to give him money. So he consented and sought an opportunity to betray him to them in the absence of a crowd.” ”
Isn't it interesting to observe the fruit of a seared conscience? David tried to betray Uriah in secret. Judas sought an opportunity to betray Jesus in the absence of a crowd. Sin can't stand up to the light, so it loves to operate in secret. But again, secrecy is an illusion. In the end, there is nothing that will be hidden.
““For nothing is hidden that will not be made manifest, nor is anything secret that will not be known and come to light.” ”
David is easy to pick on. So is Judas. From a safe distance, we throw our stones and find the faults we want to find. But these men aren't the only ones guilty of betrayal. Our hands are just as filthy. I don't really like to think about it, but every time I've praised Jesus with my lips and gone my own way in my life, I've betrayed Him. Every time He has tugged at the strings of my heart and I've persisted in my own rebellion, I've betrayed Him.
Mercy, patience, and time are valuable gifts that we as Christians have been blessed to receive. It's a gift to know that through Jesus, we have been made objects of God's perfect mercy. It's a gift to know that our Lord abounds in patience toward His rebellious children. It's a gift to be given enough time to realize that desensitizing our consciences will eventually make us sick to our stomachs and ruin our quality of life.
So what's the alternative? The alternative is to rely on the power of Christ to resist the allure of this world's vain attempts to take the place of Jesus in our lives. This world tells you it will make you happy and soothe your pain, but it doesn't really have the capacity to do that. Its promises are empty because this world can't offer eternal solutions. Eternal solutions for our grief, loneliness, and pain can only be found through Jesus.
How sensitive is your conscience? Stay sensitive to the Lord's leading. He remains forever faithful and will expose the deceitful schemes of the evil one that stand against you.
© John Stange, 2023
