It may not always feel like a blessing, but if you have a few people in your life who are willing to tell you the truth in love, you're a blessed person indeed.
I have a theory that I think is pretty accurate. It's a relational test, and something most people hesitate to practice. My theory goes like this; A true friend will always tell you if you have food on your face. An acquaintance or casual friend may or may not.
For all our quirks, I'm grateful for the relational honesty that I experienced growing up as a member of my family. My siblings, parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins never hesitated to tell me their real opinions about my life during my formative years. If I was making a poor decision, I heard about it. If they didn't like the way I cut my hair, I heard about it. If they noticed I was making a humming noise while I was eating, I heard about that too. Nothing was off limits.
The beauty of that relational style is that I rarely had to guess what my family was thinking, and I was given wisdom and correction before I might make a poor decision. Admittedly, I didn't always listen to the counsel I was given right away, but at least I had the blunt, but loving counsel of my family rattling around in my head while I tried to progress through the awkward years of my early life.
It can be tough for people in leadership to experience the blessing of lovingly honest counsel. Leaders are often attacked and nit-picked unfairly, so critique sometimes makes them feel defensive. Some leaders are so insecure that when they receive correction, they go on the offensive and attack their critics, even if the critic took a loving approach.
I suspect there weren't too many people in Israel who relished the thought of correcting David when he was in error. David was a powerful king. He was a mighty warrior who didn't have a habit of backing down from a challenge. He wasn't the type of guy most people in their right mind would be eager to confront, but sometimes he needed that confrontation, especially in the midst of seasons when he was drifting away from obedience to the teaching of God's word.
I grew up hearing the Ten Commandments at home and at church. The Ten Commandments advise us on what it looks like to love and honor God and love and honor other people. David was highly familiar with the Ten Commandments as well. I'm sure he could rattle them off verbatim without any hesitation. But it's one thing to know something in your head and another thing to actually live out what you claim to believe.
In 2 Samuel 11, we're shown examples of David blatantly breaking at least three commandments. The tenth commandment tells us not to covet another man's wife, yet David willingly coveted Uriah's wife, Bathsheba, without restraint. The seventh commandment tells us not to commit adultery, yet David was more than willing to sleep with Bathsheba the first opportunity he had to do so. The sixth commandment instructs us not to commit murder, yet David orchestrated the unjust execution of Uriah through trickery on the battlefield in an attempt to cover his own sin.
If all of this information was made known to you, would you have been willing to confront David about it? That's exactly the position Nathan found himself in. Nathan was a prophet, and when you observe the ministry of prophets during the days of the Old Testament, you can see that they often served as the conscience of the nation. In addition to their divinely enabled ability to foretell future things, they were also compelled by the Lord to bring out into the open the hidden wickedness kings and the nation as a whole were hiding in their hearts.
Prophets often experienced being ostracized by the community because their words were so unpopular. Frequently, their lives were taken from them because few people wanted to hear the uncomfortable truths they would speak. God would regularly make His appeal to the nation of Israel through the prophets He sent to them, and most often, the nation would reject that appeal.
After David committed adultery with Bathsheba and had Uriah killed, the Lord revealed these hidden acts to the prophet Nathan, and Nathan came to David to appeal to his heart about it.
I appreciate the approach Nathan took. He used a technique Jesus would often use during His earthly ministry when it was time to convey deeper level knowledge. If you've read the gospels, you've seen the many parables Jesus shared with the crowds. He would use parables to help them understand things they were missing. He also used parables to conceal certain things from those who had wicked intentions toward Him.
Nathan felt led to utilize that same approach when he confronted David. When he had David's ear, he started telling him a story of a poor man who wasn't rich in the things of this world but owned a little lamb that he cared for and fed like it was his own child.
“And the Lord sent Nathan to David. He came to him and said to him, “There were two men in a certain city, the one rich and the other poor. 2 The rich man had very many flocks and herds, 3 but the poor man had nothing but one little ewe lamb, which he had bought. And he brought it up, and it grew up with him and with his children. It used to eat of his morsel and drink from his cup and lie in his arms, and it was like a daughter to him. 4 Now there came a traveler to the rich man, and he was unwilling to take one of his own flock or herd to prepare for the guest who had come to him, but he took the poor man’s lamb and prepared it for the man who had come to him.” ”
David didn't realize this was a parable, and he couldn't help but feel compassion for the poor man Nathan was telling him about. The whole story disturbed him immensely. Scripture makes it clear that the Lord has compassion for the poor, and I believe David often reflected the Lord's compassion for the destitute. After hearing this story, David was angry, and he wanted to see justice done.
“Then David’s anger was greatly kindled against the man, and he said to Nathan, “As the Lord lives, the man who has done this deserves to die, and he shall restore the lamb fourfold, because he did this thing, and because he had no pity.””
It's interesting to note how honest we can be when we feel like we're analyzing someone else's faults, but it's much harder to be objective when it's time to assess our own. David believed the rich man deserved death or at least a severe form of punishment for his sin, but Nathan was about to drop a bomb on David.
“Nathan said to David, “You are the man! Thus says the Lord, the God of Israel, ‘I anointed you king over Israel, and I delivered you out of the hand of Saul. 8 And I gave you your master’s house and your master’s wives into your arms and gave you the house of Israel and of Judah. And if this were too little, I would add to you as much more. 9 Why have you despised the word of the Lord, to do what is evil in his sight? You have struck down Uriah the Hittite with the sword and have taken his wife to be your wife and have killed him with the sword of the Ammonites.”
Think about the life David had been blessed with and the providential ways the Lord had lifted him up from obscurity to a place of prominence. The Lord gave David strength. He made his name great in the land. He protected David from those who sought to harm him. He gave David power, riches, and frankly, as many wives and concubines as he wanted. And if this somehow wasn't enough, the Lord was willing to give him even more. But as we've seen in our own lives, if our heart isn't finding satisfaction and rest in the Lord, there's no fleshly craving that will successfully satisfy that void.
David was caught. What he thought was hidden was now out in the open, and his heart was grieved. The word of the Lord that was spoken through Nathan prompted swift conviction and repentance from David. There was nothing David could do besides admit that he had sinned and deserved the consequences of his actions.
“David said to Nathan, “I have sinned against the Lord.” And Nathan said to David, “The Lord also has put away your sin; you shall not die. Nevertheless, because by this deed you have utterly scorned the Lord, the child who is born to you shall die.” Then Nathan went to his house.”
Nathan did his job that day. I can only imagine what was going through his head when he walked back to his house after confronting the most powerful man in the land. David was now on the path to repentance, but the fallout from his actions would be severe.
There will be times in each of our lives when repentance will be necessary. In fact, I believe it's God's desire that we live with a spirit of ongoing repentance. Biblical repentance is more than just admitting fault and saying you're sorry. It involves a new way of thinking and believing. It necessitates a change in behavior. It's facilitated by a divinely orchestrated transformation where one willingly forsakes the things of this world to fully embrace Jesus, the giver of true life.
In His patience, the Lord has graced us with time to repent from our unbelief. We once ignored Christ's offer to forgive our sins and renew our minds, but now we value that opportunity.
"The Lord is not slow to fulfill his promise as some count slowness, but is patient toward you, not wishing that any should perish, but that all should reach repentance." (2 Peter 3:9)
"The times of ignorance God overlooked, but now he commands all people everywhere to repent," (Acts 17:30)
John the Baptist preached a message of repentance. Jesus did as well.
“From that time Jesus began to preach, saying, “Repent, for the kingdom of heaven is at hand.” ”
Repentance may seem like a scary word, but it's actually a delightful privilege. Consider what Jesus is giving us the opportunity to do. He lovingly invites us to stop wrapping our arms around the very things that seek to destroy us so we can experience the unfettered blessing of enjoying life in His kingdom. The kingdom of heaven is at hand. Will we lose the eternal for the things that are passing, or will we seek first Christ's kingdom and Christ's righteousness?
In his book I Surrender, Patrick Morley writes that the church’s integrity problem is in the misconception “that we can add Christ to our lives, but not subtract sin. It is a change in belief without a change in behavior.” He goes on to say, “It is revival without reformation, without repentance.”
“In his book I Surrender, Patrick Morley writes that the church’s integrity problem is in the misconception “that we can add Christ to our lives, but not subtract sin. It is a change in belief without a change in behavior.” He goes on to say, “It is revival without reformation, without repentance.””
It can be easier to be honest with others than with ourselves, but a portion of Scripture like 2 Samuel 12 can help us in this process of gradual growth and reflection. For God's glory, let's embrace the repentance He prompts, the revival He fans into flame, and the reformation of our lives as we become new creations in Christ Jesus.
© John Stange, 2023
